Families of Gulf War veterans pass the torch
BY KRYSTAL SLATEN
krystal@tmnews.com
Source:
http://www.tmnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=7563&Itemid=43
MITCHELL — Six ladies clustered in to Phyllis Foster’s living room Wednesday
afternoon. Some had never met, yet they chatted comfortably about the same
experience that brought each of them together, binding each to one another with
a heartstring few would understand.
Each of the women sent a loved one off to war.
One shipped a husband to the Vietnam War, while others shipped sons and
daughters to the Gulf War. And the youngest of the group, Nancy Peabody, has a
son now serving in Iraq.
They are bound by war.
Yet the word is rarely mentioned in their conversations.
Instead, they focus on love, honor and duty.
The Gulf War
The story starts in the early 1990s when local men and women, in military
service, were sent overseas to serve in the Gulf War, leaving behind their
mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, wives, husbands and children to cope
with the extended and worrisome absence.
That grief and worry led to the start of local support groups that pulled
people, such as Foster, Jody Gilbert, Sharon Bowden and Pauline Thacker,
together with that single heartstring — each had a child serving in the Persian
Gulf. Each waited for short and extremely expensive collect phone calls from
their sons and daughters, and knew the pain losing a loved one, temporarily, to
a far-off war.
“We met in a Bedford support group,” Foster said. “... And it came to be that we
wanted to start one in Mitchell, for the Mitchell people. We were so green. We
had no clue what we were doing. We just knew we needed each other to get us
through.”
Gilbert, who lost her husband in the 16 years since the war started, said she
and Foster would “burn up” each other’s phone lines, talking almost constantly
and keeping one another’s mind off the conflict in the gulf.
“We enjoyed ourselves,” Gilbert said. “It wasn’t all bad. We had a good time,
and we worried ourselves sick. But, just the companionship, was priceless. No
one knew what we were going through except for those other people who were going
through the same thing.”
Through the support group, fundraising started for a memorial to honor, not just
the soldiers in the Gulf War, but all soldiers from the Mitchell area. That
monument, which was dedicated on Memorial Day in 1991, now stands as an eternal
symbol of that support in the center of the Mitchell Cemetery.
“We had so much support from the community,” Gilbert said. “People truly wanted
to help and pitch in.”
The support group disbanded when the war was over, and the soldiers returned to
the United States. But the couples involved never lost sight of one another.
A war typically divides, but this one united many toward a common cause.
A new war
It’s the same gulf and the same geography, but today’s war in Iraq is far
different from what took place more than 16 years ago after coalition forces
liberated Kuwait after former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein invaded the small
country for its rich oil reserves.
Yet, for the parents and spouses of soldiers, the feelings are the same.
That’s where the Hoosier Hills Armed Forces Families Association comes into
play.
Peabody, the mother of a soldier now serving in Iraq, and Betsy Henley work
tirelessly through HHAFFA to support the troops serving overseas and the loved
ones they were forced to leave behind. And both women draw their strength from
experience.
“My husband served in Vietnam for a year,” Henley told the women gathered in
Foster’s Mitchell home. “I know what it’s like to worry, to say goodbye ... I
know how it feels, which is why we want to help the families of those who serve.
I don’t think any mothers want their (children) to go (to war). It’s different
being a wife, than it is to be a mom, but we’re here for both.”
Peabody agreed.
“It is hard, and we try to fill that void,” she said. “We have worries, and
we’re scared, too. But we also share a few laughs along the way.”
New understanding
When the families of Gulf War soldiers disbanded their support group and
completed the monument, some money remained in the bank, drawing interest for
the past 16 years. Foster, joined by Gilbert, Thacker, Bowden and their
surviving spouses, wanted to see the money — $800 worth — put to good use.
That’s when they contacted HHAFFA.
The money — once collected to honor soldiers — will stay in Lawrence County to
help a new generation of soldiers. And the money is dedicated in honor of those
members of the first support group — Peggy Davis, Vernon Gilbert and Nelson
Thacker — who are no longer alive.
“As a mother of a soldier, I know how hard it is on the families when a loved
one goes off to war,” Thacker said. “And I am happy that this money is going to
help other soldiers from Lawrence County because a little bit of help really
goes a long way.”
As the torch was passed that afternoon, new camaraderie was born. It certainly
wasn’t based on war, but the love that is built around it.
Times-Mail Staff Writer Krystal Slaten welcomes comments and suggestions at
277-7264 or by e-mail at krystal@tmnews.com .